As it is over 30 years since the fateful winter of ’79 and the cabinet minutes of the time are being made available, I thought I’d drag out possibly the most politically charged album of recent years out and give it a listen with fresh ears. Well, quite jaded ears, really – I’ve been listening to the revelations about James Callaghan’s last days in office.


JC was about to legislate against Trade Unionism using the Canadian model, mobilise the Army against picket lines, and generally clamp down on everything and everyone that he had allowed to walk all over the government since he had taken over from Wilson in 1976. And try to win an election at the same time. Poor sod, he didn’t stand a chance. They were amateurs, by Hattersley’s own admission.

What interests me about this era is that I was there, and I was becoming politically aware all through 1978, although I wouldn’t be old enough to vote at the next election. But politics isn’t just about the vote, it is about sensing the mood of the country, and it was in a pretty foul state at the time. I was becoming aware of this quickly as this ‘realpolitik’ was landing quite nastily on my doorstep.

On the radio of the time – 1978 – The Pistols, The Clash and the Damned were doing whatever they did to make punk that bit scarier to the older generation, but only Tom Robinson had a grasp of the politics of the time. Listen to it closely, and it is no wonder that the album was placed on a censored list by Capital Radio. I’m no social historian, but I was there and I remember all too well the feeling of radical change in the air. It was palpable in late 1978. I had to go out to work to help support my family because of pay restraints and rampant inflation (admittedly, my set of circumstances were unique, widowed mother and 4 siblings to bring up) were threatening to erode what little income we had. Everyone signed up to the (laughably named) “Social Contract” (Rousseau turned in his grave as they robbed, one assumes), yet we got nothing – literally – back in return, except higher prices and fewer services. One of JC’s worries of the time was that there would be a marxist coup. I wonder how close to the precipice of revolution the country was at that time? It certainly felt like “Something Better Change” as Hugh Cornwell sang at the time.

“The National Front was getting awful strong” sang Tom, and he was right – it was in the same position as the BNP is today. The only thing he didn’t foresee was Thatcher jumping so far to the right that she picked up the NF sympathisers and effectively neutered that particular menace’s threat. And if history is to repeat itself, is ‘dave’ (capitalisation intended) going to swing to the right just before this election to neuter the BNP?

Listen to ‘Power In The Darkness’ and tell me if you have ever heard anything as overtly political since? TRB were regarded as ‘lightweight’ by the music press. Oh sure, they were Birchill’s darlings for a few months, but they were never quite The Clash, whose political sensibilities extended to being “Lost in a Supermarket” and covering Junior Murvin songs badly. No, once the press realised Tom meant everything he wrote, he was consigned to live in the field of tall poppies, and sure enough, by 1979 they were a spent force.

Sleevenotes, for the younger readers : “Supercharged Fizzies on the Asphalt” refers to the Yamaha FS1e, a popular 49cc moped of the time (although supercharging one would be problematic, at best…) and “The Kids are coming in from the cold” refers to a Ready-Brek (an oat based breakfast cereal of the time) advert. I am sure there are more cultural references, but that’ll do for starters….

Tom Robinson was a powerful antagonism in my nascent political thinking, but I wonder – where are the outspoken disaffected of today? Where and who is their voice? Even the MPs that used to speak out – Clare Short, for example – have all succumbed to the whip. Where is our voice these days – are we truly reduced to only being able to wield a vote at the ballot box now?

Thirty years on though – Tom’s words appear prophetic. “Whitehall up against the wall” was how it turned out in the winter of discontent, but does whitehall have us up against that same wall now?


I have to share with you some of my musical habits as the naughties draw to a close and the teenies begin. Where does a dyed in the wool Radio 4 listener get his musical inspiration from these days? I don’t particularly want to live in the past; the Katie Melua-laden nonsense of Radio 2 doesn’t appeal (not since that red-headed stepchild Evans minor has taken his place as the nation’s favourite tw*t) – although I openly mourn the passing of the Janet and John innuendo fest from that station – nor the Moylesian banality of Radio 1. I cannot listen to Heart/Radio Suffolk/Vibe FM (or whatever it is nowadays) and be inspired to purchase anything at all. So music radio is all but finished for me as a way of persuading me to buy fresh stuff to listen to.


No, Radio is past it’s sell-by date. I ‘d accumulated most of what they laughingly call a playlist (when was the last time you heard Fischer-Z on the BBC? Or Tom Robinson’s Winter of ’79? Still banned, I shouldn’t wonder…the subject of another rant-in-progress) over the years, and I’m still incredibly driven by new and undiscovered stuff. Spotify is my best friend, but how do I find out what I might have missed? Where is the Genius playlist when you need it? Well, there is this peculiar phenomena that fellow bloggers seem to use to publicise old and unfashionable stuff. They record their old Vinyl copies of things and pop them up onto rapidshare. To whit, this evening, I found myself humming an old Propaganda (*) tune, ‘Dr Mabuse’ on my way back home, and thought – “wow, that was a defining use of synthesiser in the 80’s…..where is my copy”? Well, of course, the answer for anyone of a certain age is to work out which of the XW’s (TM) have the offending vinyl…and then go and seek it out online instead. The Coward’s gambit, he said, grinning. I found it on a blog, and I’ve downloaded it, and I am listening to it as I write. It is brilliantly of it’s time – I suspect I hear Mr Horn and his Fairlight at play in a lot of it, but it still stands up as a piece of work to be appreciated. It still sounds great, if you cut it a little slack. Under-rated at release, I think it has stood the test of time.

The point of this, lest you think I have wandered off on a McCartney-esque ‘Long and winding’ one, is that while I was on the page, my eye was caught by “Fortran 5” – a name I haven’t heard for ages. And no, it is nothing to do with it being my least favourite programming language (it is unstructured basic, after all) – it is a band that went on to become “Komputer”. I am now listening to their first album, “Blues” and I am particularly over the moon at re-discovering a version of Syd Barrett’s “Bike”, the vocal being made purely from samples of Sid James. Ah the spirit of 1991 is strong in this one, Obe-wan. Now where did I put my glow-sticks?

I told you I was only trying to keep my ‘one a week’ batting average up…..

(*) Propaganda, A German band signed to ZTT and promptly under-promoted by Morley et al, when that bunch of Liverpool existentialist sloganeers seemed to be more successful at surfing the zen zeitgeist of the mid-Thatcher years.


I’m going to try to stay a little calm and detached during this entry, largely because this is affecting me directly at the moment. And we all know that you can, in the heat of the moment, launch the exocet rather than just the depleted uranium shell that would be the more appropriate weapon. (How can depleted uranium ever be appropriate? )


I’m selling a house. It is a normal house in a normal street. It is, in fact, this one. It didn’t require a HIP when it was first listed by the estate agent, but it does now. So I stump up my fee and expect this glossy pack to be generated telling me all about this wondrous product I am selling that should have had the buyers flocking to my door. I can visualise the handshake and the final handover of the keys, teeth glinting in the setting sun of the day. You get the idea? £399 to ensure a quicker and speedier sale if someone decides to buy it and less legwork (because half of the work has been done) for the solicitors should mean a trouble free transaction, right?

Well, no. What happens in reality is that all the problems like drainage and shared access and all of the really important stuff – where are the deeds, for example – are handled by inept unqualified halfwits who, when they do eventually produce the HIP, produce something dryer than the proverbial Vicar’s wife and more content-free than your local council’s free-sheet. And then, when the solicitors (I use the term advisedly, and interchangeably with ‘conveyancing technician’) get hold of the case, they will check and recheck everything that was alleged in the HIP, because they aren’t stupid and know that there will be errors because they weren’t produced by ‘a professional’.

So – I am left £399 poorer fiscally, no better off in terms of time saved (I am actually worse off because a slice of my life has been given over to answering inane questions like “will anyone live in the property after it has been sold”…. at that point I will have readied my inner Meldrew) and overall my selling process has not been enhanced. The house sold (STC) without anyone actually looking at the HIP. And I’m £399 poorer, did I mention that? And it is a mandatory part of the selling process.

Well, that is the crux of the matter. £399 paid over to the treasury as a tax on the transaction (yes, I know that is what stamp duty is, but stay with me) would give me something tangible to wag my finger at from the dizzy heights of this rickety soapbox. Or to believe that I have helped the NHS or whatever. But no, it seems like a pointless extra charge with no actual benefit to the process. If I think long and hard about it – and follow the money – the only people who seem to benefit are the conveyancers who offer the HIP, so you could argue that the legal profession have managed to monetise and obfuscate the process all in one easy ‘extra’ step. Which, if you think about it, is a masterstroke – Tony Blair (for it was he) should be proud of his incessant championing of the HIP, and for sticking with it through to implementation. All that effort for no apparent benefit to anyone except the legal profession. I mean, that is a selfless act in itself – no taxation involved, just good old fashioned cause championing.

I can’t think of a single reason why he would want to improve the cashflow of the legal profession.


John Peel – gone but not forgotten – used to have a ‘festive fifty’, invariably populated by such dizzy luminaries as Half-Man Half-Biscuit and Splodgesnessabounds. Well, having walked into yet another shop playing that compilation of shocking christmas tunes (was it me or was 1971-75 the era of the christmas tune? Even Sailor had a christmas ditty…) I feel compelled to compile my unfestive (and anti-christmas) top five. A selection of songs that you may not have heard – spotify can be your friend here – but I have….and I appear to have been saving these up all my life for a cathartic rant. So here goes


1. Death may be your Santa Claus – Mott The Hoople (From ‘Brain Capers’)

Many of you will know (oh, the arrogance of assuming I have a readership – but please, bear with it) that I have a love of pre-Bowie Mott The Hoople that I affected in the first form at school as a way of appearing cooler that I actually was. Conversationally, this would give me the moral high ground over anyone extolling the virtues of “All The Young Dudes” or “Foxy Foxy” with the sharp put-down of “well it’s not “Darkness, Darkness is it?”, thus bestowing me with the aura of someone who knew his onions when it came to music. All I was really doing was raiding my next door neighbor’s record collection, which is how I come to be afflicted with an early affection for the Faces, Mott The Hoople, and Roxy Music. Glam-itus? Oh, and David Bowie, but that is another story.

Anyway, the track “Death may be your Santa Claus” is possibly the finest anti-christmas song title ever. Typically of Ian Hunter though, it is absolutely nothing to do with christmas…(but then “Wheel of the quivering Meat Conception” from the same album really doesn’t belie the title either…)

2. I won’t be home for Christmas – Blink-182

Leaving behind the outpourings of my early years, here I find myself in the naughties proper and hanging with the ‘Jackass’ generation. Now this is just a brilliantly normal anti-christmas song. A close run thing between that and “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”, but I think this wins out, if only for the line about Bubba unwrapping his package. Go discover….

3. Fu** Christmas – Fear

Gosh, I am displaying my west coast punk roots here. Or rather, I’ve been caught raiding my children’s record collections. Steady on, I’ll be seeing Black Flag stickers on Cadillacs, next. This is 40 seconds of nonsense and 6 seconds of a refrain that you can probably guess from the title. Delightful. One to slip on when the rellies are around – a bit similar to being a ’77 teen-subversive by slipping on “God Save The Queen” by the Pistols when the royalist grandparents are around for tea. Yes, ears were clipped. No, still unforgiven.

4. Christmas with the Devil – Spinal Tap

Ah – the genius of Spinal Tap. They seem to have gone out of their way to sound ‘off’ more than they usually do on this track, but I think that is the point – overuse of ’11’ is bad for the overall creativity inherent in a band. Cough. Now I may be wrong here, but I think they have lifted the Whitesnake riff “There ain’t no love in the heart of the city” which is admirable. It doesn’t sound particularly christmassy, but …ah – the genius of Spinal Tap. Wind like the break, Mr Burns, wind like the break.

5. Santa’s Gonna Kick Your Ass – Arrogant Worms

Well there had to be a canuck connection in any top five of mine, and an anti-christmas rant should be no exception. Which reminds me, a treatise of Canadian music for those unable to move past that dwarf Dion and the equally diminutive B. Adams should be forthcoming shortly as an entry in Astonished’s blog. The Arrogant Worms are like nothing we have in the UK, and that is a sad inditement of our post-Cowell music industry (a rant for another day I think. I’m not sure I have 5000 words left in me to express the vitriol I wish to cast at his antics). Humourous, witty and irreverent, they tackle the prospect of Santa having a drink problem and a bad attitude because his wife has run off with a chiropractor with alacrity and precision. And I like to think that there are one or two of us that can identify with that.

So – track them down (sorry) and enjoy. I’m going to return with renewed vigour to my CanuckRock (TM) mentioned earlier….

I had the misfortune to listen to a friend describe the process by which people are made redundant in organisations these days. Rather than just pin the redundancy tail on the poor donkey who will be the recipient of the job loss (hand them a cheque and say “sorry, it didn’t work out”), these HR idiots first decide that two people are in the frame for the the loss, and then subject them to a process whereby they have to compete for their job – the job being called the ‘Competitive Slot’. This process takes up to 3-4 months, during which the poor people are made to perform like cage fighters with each other, trying to out-do the other and be the ‘winner’.


This is all done to make the process seem fair and consultative, and I daresay, to make it appear that everything has been done to protect the company from litigation should someone decide that they have been badly treated. The poor sods, they don’t know the half of it. Lets consider the flip side. Imagine, you have been put into a competitive slot, in say, September, and you’ll know the outcome at some point in December, and that your performance will be judged and weighed and balanced in that time. Are you going to :

a) work out that it is both of you that they want to get rid of, so they can bring in someone new?
b) go home, and tell your wife and family that you have the possibility of losing your job around christmas time?
c) get depressed, drunk and give up
d) watch ‘Falling Down’ over and over again
e) all of the above…

Well, yes – ‘e’.

But above all, you are going to be very stressed. You are going to go through at least 5 circles of hell, have numerous sleepless nights, take it out on your wife and kids – and possibly your colleagues, generally be wary of interacting with the very people who have already and will continue to judge your performance, and generally be perceived as a bit of a dead man walking. After all, you were put into a competitive slot, so there must be something wrong, right? But suppose you win? Will you ever be able to trust ‘the company’ again for putting you through that? I’m looking at this and thinking that there is a big negative in staff morale that no one seems to weigh up here.

I believe, and yes, it is a bit cynical of me, that this sort of nonsense is HR making work for themselves, to justify their own pitiful existence. They create the stress and then deal with the consequences – is it all a big job creation scheme for them? Or is it another manifestation of the crass insensitivity displayed by the newly machismo’d up department called HR that we all used to know as ‘Personnel’ and ignore by and large. When did they get so bloody important that they are allowed to play with people’s lives when their qualifications are probably no better than the average estate agent?

The disturbing upshot of this is that the possible outcome of the competitive slot business could be one of the competitors deciding that the garage rafter and a noose is his only way out. Whither HR then? Culpable?

I’ve been unemployed ^h^h^h^h resting for most of this year, save for a month at a disastrous cluster-fsck anarcho-software-as-a-m*sturbation-aid house where the CEO felt that you couldn’t possibly have any use unless you had read at least two self help books and three “feel the fear and then finger-bang your cat” type books a month – but that is for another post, I feel.


I’ve been doing the rounds of the agencies on a daily basis and one thing I have noticed that appears to have gone by the wayside is good manners. I’ve been a contractor for so long I can’t recall the last time I was a permanent employee, so getting a new job every so often is second nature to me, but there appears to be a new creature at employment agencies, and he/she has a rather disturbing attitude. This is the mannerless lout who feels that they are qualified to tell you that, despite the advert that suggests that they are looking for someone with recent experience in x, you aren’t right for the role. Dare to protest and they get very aggressive, very quickly about why they are right in an overly confrontational way. I don’t know what such rudeness does for these people, and short of calling them labial (think about it) and hanging up, I don’t know how to cope with it, but maybe that it precisely the reaction they are trying to elicit.

Compare this with other, established agents who may tell you that you’re perfect for the role and “give me five minutes with the client and I’ll get you an interview” and never call back. They are both as bad as each other, sure, but the former are becoming more prevalent. Again, no manners…

I’m wondering, is it that I am of a “certain age” and therefore intimidate these people in some way? Ageism aside, is there a niche market in employment agencies for placing “oldies” that agents haven’t worked out yet? [*]

So as a bit of fun, if you were running an agency for the placement of mature IT people, what questions would you use to test whether a potential ‘wrinklie’ might be right for the role? Navigation commands in wordstar? Describe the difference between config.sys and autoexec.bat? How do you reveal codes in DisplayWrite 4?

There will be a job at some point, I’ve no doubt, and it will be enjoyable and fun. But why should I have to put up with the gamut of bad manners on the way there?

[*] Can I ask any more rhetorical questions? Do I sound like Sarah Jessica Parker in SATC? Eeek, do I look like her?


I watch very little TV.  I don’t have a license, for a start [1], so I tend to use iPlayer and  – heavens – torrents, which works quite well, I find.  So, I’ll watch ‘Lost’ on the day that it is aired in Canada, and ‘The Mentalist’ before the new series has even been begun in the UK. 


The upshot of this is that I have so much more time available to me now – I choose what I want to watch and when to watch it (I don’t get the 7.03pm “I’m going to miss The Archers” twitch if I’m nowhere near a radio any more) and this is a Good Thing (TM) – I read more, research more and generally put my newfound time to good use. 

It has downsides.  If someone wants to engage me in a conversation about why Susan Boyle’s choice of song is so awful, I have to endure watching it on youtube before I can offer an opinion – and let me tell you, awful doesn’t even begin to describe that – but in the main, I find that this is all a positive.  TV has become like going to the cinema – the choice is now mine to make, rather than just have the entire evening’s programming thrust down my throat as I attempt to teach my liver about regeneration again.  

Why then, with the possible sea change in the public’s viewing habits – iPlayer, 4OD and the like, has our venerable and lovable Mr Sugar not come up with a new TV that has no receiver in it; instead, why not kit it out with a wifi connection and a simple interface that lets you navigate iPlayer and 4OD?  

No license fee needed…..

[1] After months of very threatening letters, they sent a gorilla around. I invited him in to look around, and he declined, saying “I can tell you don’t have a tv from your reaction to me….”

Ever since I was introduced to computers and computing in nineteen-something, it seemed that the natural scheme of things was to do things in a proprietary way and to pitch your products against a competitor’s.  DEC and IBM, Unix and DOS, Atari and Amiga….the list goes on – I’m sure you can add Wordperfect and Displaywrite 4 to the list if you were a pedant. (And yes, I know that is an IBM System/36 above, before you start. I wonder if the plant had an RPG II device name?).
Today though, there doesn’t seem to be the polarisation that I have always come to expect from the market. OK, I use OS X (why do Mac users always feel the need to tell everyone in their posts?), but that doesn’t mean I use one for any other reason than I want to. I’ve found that there is very little I need Windows for (domino designer springs to mind, but that is a dying art) – rather, I can achieve the same levels of productivity on anything nowadays as long as it has a standards compliant browser.  And so where is that fight nowadays? It isn’t hardware – that has been commoditised to the point where you can pick up a laptop with your shopping at Tesco – it isn’t OS based, or even software based – no one cares if you use office 2007 or openoffice any more.  No, I think it is in the SaaS (Software as a Service) arena – a phenomenal growth area.  But there are two very obvious omissions – no Apple or Microsoft offerings appear in this marketplace….the behemoths appear to have been wrong-footed again. 
 
In my current role at #insert_current_employer I was looking for a decent document repository that wasn’t box.net based. I needed something similar to the old domino teamroom style of ‘project spaces’.  I happened across www.glasscubes.com and i was quite blown away with the elegant simplicity of it.  It has a three user free trial, and it does seem to be robust and elegant and I like that. And it is SaaS based and you pay per bum-on-seat and, and, and,well – I am quite excited by it. Give it a go, and then tell the owner what you like and don’t like about it. SaaS is quite the place to be at the moment, and I can hear another 1999/2000 dotcom bubble being inflated as armies of VCs eye up the revenue streams geneated by these startups.  Lest you think it is an advert for glasscubes, I am also taken with liquidplanner.com/ – this is another corker. Well worth a look and has an interesting pedigree. 
 
Er, I thought I was supposed to be a tired cynical old IT hack? I almost sounded enthusiastic about something for a minute there….

I went to Krakow at the end of last month, and now that the liver-shock of free-flowing vodka and pickles has subsided, I feel I can write about it. I am constantly surprised by experiences I have when I am an accidental tourist (I was supposedly there for a “blue-skying brainstorming thingy” that frankly let me shivering. That may have been excessive vodka consumption or the cliche, I’m not sure) but especially when I look up rather than down at the pavement. Which brings me to the reason for this sounding off – why have I got this far in my life without learning the vocabulary of architecture?  “I love those twiddly bits on the top of those columns”, versus “wow,aren’t those volutes at the top of that doric column divine”…
 
Now I know you might think that qualifies me for an annual pass into Pseuds’ Corner ™ but really – my trip to Krakow actually exposed my utter lack of knowledge about architecture.  This is a concern fo me, because lately I’ve been admiring structures and wanting to discuss them.  Anyhow, the attached picture shows the town square by night.  Breathtaking. And if you are stuck for a destination for a weekend break, you could do worse. No stag parties that I saw, the hotels are quite reasonable and you can do proper tourist stuff too – there is a brilliant tour of a local salt mine too.  But that is a post for another time,I think…
 
So the upshot of this ignorance is to recommend a book – Rice’s Architectural Primer. It is written in a Tim Hunkin style and is unputdownable.  I am immersed in Spandrels and Mullions, and plan to be for some time while I investigate my home town, my new guide in hand….


I’ve been a fan since I don’t know when…2001, maybe?  ‘Quiet is the new loud’, anyway.  They have always occupied the area in my musical leanings that was vacated by EBTG when they went all ‘dance’ and filled it admirably.  It is just that the quantity was always lacking.  Imagine my surprise today then, at the discovery of new product from the Bergen (that the place, not the bread) boys….


“Declaration of Dependence” is every bit as good as it’s predecessor, “Riot On An Empty Street” and I think with a few more listens it will really shine – the stand out tracks are “Mrs Cold” (how clever  – a song with no percussion/drums that makes you want to dance?) and “Boat Behind” – a sort of Cockney Rebel-esque mix of football-terrace chorus and Stephane Grapelli violin – genius.  Norwegians doing French music…who’d have thunk?

I love the whole understatedness of the production – the almost nonchalant  way the songs seem to be constructed.  And when you play it through headphones,  “My ship isn’t pretty” is so intimate, you could swear that they are there with you in the room. 

There is only one thing missing here.  I can’t find it on Vinyl.  Yet.

Buy it. 
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