Canada | richardsandwell

That is quite evocative of that famous Reader’s Digest feature, no? I confess to being quite sad at the passing of the UK edition of the Reader’s Digest – I learnt a lot from the late 60’s and early 70’s issues. I recall surprising my mum with my detailed knowledge of the pineal gland after reading “I am John’s Kidney”. A shame – nevermore, the letters from Tom Champagne (made up name? I think so – Harry Merlot and Dick Shiraz aren’t quite in the same league are they?) telling me I’ve won a boxed set of James Last LPs. I shall mourn their decline with a thunderbird wine, as the bard of Upminster once said.

What makes me laugh? Well you have seen the Leo Sayer and Linda Ronstadt clip in a recent blog so I’ll leave that out. In no particular order, other than they occured to me that way, here is my top 10 ‘things’ that make me laugh. Although, having just done a crafty edit and run through of this, I think on balance the order is about right – but of course the value of your investments may go up or down. Or was it your mileage may vary? Indeed, should all men have a tag on their neck saying caution, may contain nuts? Thenkyew, here all week laydeesangennelmen, he’s here all week.

1. The Anaconda Ball Pool. This is just straightforward idiocy from the lads at Jackass. I’m not sure which bit I like best, the end, or the slapstick kicking at the start. Don’t try this at home, and if you have kids, well….the ball pit will never be quite the same for you….if you liked this, may I recommend the “Bee Limousine”, and for pure stupidity, the Penny Farthing BMX. Or buy Jackass 2 the movie – available from all good retailers. Pick up some tena-lady while you are there….

2. Bill Hicks – The Marketing Rant. This was a close run thing between oh, EVERYTHING the master did, and this one. This has a message that I feel I can relate to. How it is that I’ve never found anything Bill Hicks says or rants about remotely disagreeable, I’ll never know. It is quite possibly the only time I’ve agreed with an American on everything. Taken too soon, he was, taken too soon…

3. From failblog – The Error Message. ‘Nuff said. I laughed until I stopped….

4. Sid James’ laugh. Not a ‘naturally’ funny man by his own admission, he did have the epitome of the dirty cackle to carry him through.

5. The Goon Show. When I was younger, I’d sit glued to the radio when Radio 4 (or was that the Home Service….eek, does that age me?) used to re-run the Goons and I used to find it hilarious. Milligan and Sellers were in a class of their own. My favourite anecdote is of Sellers turning up at Milligan’s doorstep stark naked at midnight, and saying “I say, Spike, do you know a good tailor?” when Milligan answered the door…

6. No child born in the sixties could escape the influence of Monty Python and I am no exception. Here is one of the paths less travelled. Really, everyone knows (and can recite good chunks of) the Parrot Sketch so I’ve chosen this :

Why Marcel Proust is featured in so many comedy skits is beyond me, or perdu les temps. Cough. I blame Kenny Everett.

7. Steven Wright. This clip by the unique Steven Wright (not to be confused by the english idiot radio DJ) shows his technique of extreme deadpanning.

8. Dennis Leary – I never really thought DL was funny per se – “No cure for cancer was just a load of recycled Bill Hicks rants, but he did a set of trailer rants for MTV which I liked at the time, and still make me laugh.

I’m a particular fan of the tirade against Michael Stipe….

9. Rob Wells, aka Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys. I spent ages trying to find a single clip of the Trailer Park Boys that typified the whole series, and this one just about does it. I fell in love with this show in Canada years ago (hell, I even have a TPB T-shirt, which is a bit, er fan-boy of me) and I’ve followed their exploits ever since. This clip comes second to one that I was looking for but couldn’t find – if you find Ricky baked out of his head on animal tranquilisers shooting at “fuckin’ purple squirrels”, well, you’ll have hit paydirt. If you haven’t seen the adventures of Ricky, Bubbles and Julian, then you have missed out. Frankly, I have never understood why Canadian comedy is always overlooked by the UK terrestrial channels.

10. This is Paul Merton at his best. I know ‘LOL’ is a bit of a passe thing as it has become the riposte of choice at the end of a text message, but I did when I first watched this. In fact, I very nearly PMSL, and was in extreme danger of ROFLOL. Watch and I defy you not to smile. It is a joy to watch him warm to the theme and take it to ever more ludicrous levels….

I write this with a heavy heart, knowing that it will be seen as an attack on the teaching profession (and I use the word ‘profession’ advisedly) who do a quite amazing job educating our children – when they are there. I refer of course to the concept of a snow day.

I’d like to know this : why are teachers and people in education the only people who get ‘snow days’? I’ve seen all the arguments from the teaching establishment during the latest spate of bad weather, and I understand all the arguments about “if police say only make emergency journeys then I can’t make my staff risk coming in” and “ice and snow on the premises can make it difficult to comply with health and safety regulations” but they always lead to the same conclusion – closed schools, and hugely inconvenienced parents.

I don’t know of another ‘profession’ that would close my place of business because of bad weather and tell me not to come in lest I endanger my life getting to work. Teachers choose to live where they live, the same as the rest of us do, and if that involves a commute, then that is their choice, surely? The LEA didn’t decree that they should live within walking distance of the school, so it is the teacher’s own choice that they live that far away from the school. So, I don’t think that argument holds water. Or ice. Or snow. The teacher, of their own free will, holds the commuting risk of their own volition.

Secondly, why can’t the teacher – like they used to do – turn up at their local school and effectively be a supply teacher? The excuse used here is that you can’t have complete strangers turning up at school purporting to be a teacher. I cannot believe that this is valid – surely an LEA has a register of teachers that are local to each school? A simple list that a headteacher will have that says “Mrs Jones attends this school in case of bad weather”. Teachers have identity cards already?

For years, teachers have been complaining that they aren’t taken as ‘professionals’ any more. Try showing, as a body of people, some commitment to the children you purport to educate on the days that you are required to attend school.

And for pity’s sake, stop demeaning yourself and the rest of your ‘trade’ by not making the same effort as the rest of society to cope with bad weather. Spend some of your winter holiday in Canada. And learn.

Laughter….the best medicine.

Snow Days